The Secrets We Keep: A second chance rock star sports romance by Gabrielle G

Author:Gabrielle G. [G., Gabrielle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-07-21T05:00:00+00:00

16

Hailey

Until a few minutes ago, I believed that because I had been raped, sex wasn’t to be enjoyable anymore.

It had been replaced by trauma, fear, and distress, and my only way to overcome these feelings was to be in control.

That’s what I thought I should feel.

That’s what I expected from myself.

I never assumed it would feel so good, so connected, so turned on. It’s not that I didn’t try to have sex before Asher. I did. Not with Josh, of course not, but with a couple of one-night stands I thought I could get over the incident with.

The first time I took off my pants in front of a stranger, I hid my tears and put them back on. Then I left without an explanation. Leaving him with, I believe, tons of questions and the idea of me being the biggest tease he ever met. I cried all night long, unable to shake the uncanny feelings crawling inside me.

The second time, I decided to disclose what had happened to me to prevent any strange reaction on my part. It was the guy who zipped his pants back up and ran away. After this, I realized intimacy and orgasms maybe weren’t in the cards for me anymore, and I stopped trying to get over it. I focused on basketball and school. I focused on ignoring men. I focused on being invisible and living in my lies.

I made up this story in my head of what my first time would be. Like when a child expects the romantic dream but was now a dreadful nightmare instead. I thought that the first time I would have sex again would be filled with flashbacks, tremors, and screams.

I thought I would cry.

I thought I would never be able to go through with it.

Until Asher.

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